Sad Music

I'm going to attempt to do this memey thing called 30 Days of Song. I will not post this every day, because oh-my-pants-I'm-bored-already. Instead I'll post once or twice a week, as I feel like. So there. I am unrepentantly stealing this from Jen O. at My Tornado Alley. She rocks. I'm not sure if she stole it from somewhere, but here we go. 

Also, we are in the home stretch ya'll. We may finish this before I die.

A Song I Listen to When I'm Sad

Not much explanation to this one. Just sad Jessi, likes bittersweet music with haunting melodies.



Day 1 - Your Favorite Song - White Blank Page
Day 2 - Your Least Favorite Song - Barbie Girl
Day 3 -  A Song that Makes You Happy - Birdhouse in Your Soul
Day 4 - A Song that Makes You Sad - Anna Begins
Day 5 - A Song that Reminds you of Someone - Friend of the Devil
Day 6 - A Song that Reminds you of Somewhere - Least Complicated
Day 7 - A Song that Reminds You of a Certain Event - Mrs. Potter's Lullaby
Day 8 - A Song that You Know All the Words To  - It's the End of the World as We Know It
Day 9 - A Song that You Can Dance to - Some Nights
Day 10 - A Song that Makes you Fall Asleep  - Ice Cream
Day 11 - A Song from your Favorite Band - Later On 
Day 12 - A Song from a band you Hate - Life is a Highway
Day 13 - A Song that is a Guilty Pleasure  - Loving You is the Dumbest Thing
Day 14 - A Song that No One Would Expect you to Love - Mean
Day 15 - A Song that Describes You - She Don't Want Nobody Near 
Day 16 - A Song that You Used to Love but Now Hate - Drops of Jupiter 
Day 17 - A Song that You Hear Often on the Radio - Little Talks
Day 18 - A Song that You Wish You Heard on the Radio - Grey Ghost 
Day 19 - A Song from your Favorite Album - Normal Like You 
Day 20 - A Song that You Listen to When You're Angry  - Not Ready to Make Nice
Day 21 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Happy 
Day 22 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Sad (today)
Day 23 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Wedding
Day 24 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Funeral
Day 25 - A Song that Makes you Laugh
Day 26 - A Song that you Can Play on an Instrument
Day 27 - A Song that you Wish you Could Play
Day 28 - A Song that Makes you Feel Guilty
Day 29 - A Song from Your Childhood
Day 30 - Your Favorite Song at this Time Last Year

Some Thoughts on Negativity

Yesterday, I read this. (For those who aren't "into" clicking, this is a hilarious bit by Joe Hill (one of my future husbands) talking about hating Nickelback):

Or… maybe… just maybe… you could give up on publicly hating a band or an actor or an artist for entertainment value altogether, and find some other way to yuk it up. You know? The world is not exactly suffering from a hate deficit or a lack of public mockery.

There was cheering over from these parts.

Then today, I read this. "On Loathing The Lumineers And Other Not-Quite-So-Radical Musical Acts" And, okay, I'll admit that maybe this last piece struck a chord with me because I love The Lumineers and Mumford and Sons and am actually actively using them to prove to myself that good music has been made since 1999. And really, this piece (which is kinda hilarious) has plenty of barbs, but it's also about irrational hate and that I can get on board with. For instance, I hate bacon. Not because it's not yummy to eat with some Wonder bread, mayonaise and tomatoes, but because it's not a freakin' condiment. Bacon is not the new ketchup, quit putting it on everything.

See, there. I got all worked up about nothing.

Back to my point. Over the past few days, I've read a really biting piece about Miley Cyrus which seemed to be centered around, "stupid hair, stupid dance, stupid outfit." I've watched Justin Beiber crash and burn. I just got through reading why Jesse James is a horrible person and doesn't deserve love. And Paula Deen, don't even get me started on the Paula Deen hatred.

Then, I read a piece on why we shouldn't judge Rhianna for marrying Chris Brown. Which, I don't know, does not compute. If we can judge Paula Deen for liking butter even though her body doesn't want her too, and we can judge Jesse James for breaking the heart of America's sweetheart, then why the pants can we not judge a woman for going back to a person who beat her black and blue?

And I guess at the end of the day, what I really don't get (besides the attraction to Chris Brown anyway) is why anyone cares. About any of it. Why should anyone care that I love Selena Gomez because she's never let down my daughter and hate George Clooney because he's always struck me as kinda skeevey?

It's one thing that we've taken celebrity culture to the extreme that we feel the need to report on every little thing, but another entirely that we now believe that everyone's opinions are newsworthy. I am a firm believer in liking what you like and hating what you hate. But why do we want to put so much emphasis on what we hate? Why do we want to take all that negativity and push it out there into the ether?

And what affect does it then have on us?

And that last, is ultimately what I'm getting at. I know that snarkiness is funny and that there is some joy in watching someone fall, but by giving those negative stories and thoughts and opinions so much traction, by writing and reading and thinking so much about how terrible everyone is, aren't we incrementally making ourselves less happy?

Not to mention the people on the receiving end. We like to think of those in the public eye; be it celebrity, politician or the accidentally famous; as being immune to the daggers we throw with our words. But are they really? Are they less human because we know their faces? Or do we just assume that they don't have access to the internet and the very human inclination to google their own name?

I know that I'm not blameless. Everyone writes from time to time about what makes them angry, sad or confused. To do otherwise would be disingenuous. But from this moment on, I'm going to strive to make sure I'm putting more positivity into the world than negativity. And I'm going to make sure that in what I read, watch and otherwise ingest I am taking less negativity out of the world than positivity. Maybe nothing will really change, but maybe I'll find myself incrementally happier.

And don't we all want that anyway?

Five Things on Friday: Kickstarter Edition

On Wednesday, a new Kickstarter project launched. This one started by producer Rob Thomas and leading lady, Kristen Bell. The project, looking to be funded to the tune of $2 million dollars, is to make a movie version of the series Veronica Mars. Now, I love VM. I love pretty much everything about it and I obsessively watch the reruns. I have a Logan Echols quote on my bulletin board at work.

And I was so excited. Am so excited, because in case you live under a rock and haven't heard, the project was fully funded in ten hours. Let me say that again: two million dollars in ten hours. The ticker is still ticking because we all know what increased budget means in movie-ville. 

Then came some party poopers talking about how funding something a studio could fund (but wouldn't) was somehow wrong and how indie filmmakers don't get this kind of response and stuff.

But here's how I look at it: this is my chance. I am not a Nielson household. I don't have the ear of Hollywood. I am not even the target demographic anymore. *sadface* But I love what I love. And as a geek-girl, I'm used to other people not loving what I love. I'm used to my series being canceled, my movies bombing, my authors hacking away at day jobs that suck their souls. What do I have? $1. That's the minimum show of support to get a VM movie made. That's the threshold for saying, "I am a person, I will buy a ticket, I will see this because I am a screaming geek girl Marshmallow. Let me have more of the things I love and I will buy them from you." 

It's a vote for what I love. (And, okay, a second, third, fourth, who's counting chance for Logan and Veronica and their epic love.) 

And it's made me realize that while this one event probably won't change the way movies are made forever, it might be a model for fandoms everywhere who want one last (high school) dance. And that's why I'm making a list of:

Five Things that Should Start their Kickstarter RIGHT NOW!

1. Wonderfalls - This quirky show about a young woman who is aided and advised by toy animals was well-loved and a critical hit. It was yanked off air after only 4 episodes. In the years since it's cancellation, it's 18 produced episodes have been aired on other stations and sold in DVD sets. Its fanbase is rabid enough to support a movie version. Plus, it's just fun. In addition to the talking animals, the main pull of this show has to do with the main character, Jaye, played by Caroline Dhavernas. Dry, bitter, jaded and hilarious, she is just plain fun to watch.

2. Harper Connelly - You know TruBlood, right? Well, it's based on the Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris. I've read a lot of them and they're, well... they're fine. They're interesting and compelling and keep you reading. But Charlaine also wrote the Harper Connelly series and it is not fine. It's amazing. I could read Harper all the day long. The four books in the series revolve around Harper, a young woman travelling with her step brother and listening to the dead - locating bodies, solving murders and recalling last moments. There's been talk of turning it into a series, but it's fallen through. I guess sort-of-psychics are a harder sell than vampires. But Charlaine has fans - lots of them, and I would imagine that a fair share of TruBlood fans would be willing to back a project by the same author. Honestly, I think the Harper books should be a series, but if a movie gained enough traction, it might become a series...

3. Twin Peaks - Okay, are you ready for the cold hard truth? It's been over twenty years since Twin Peaks quit gracing our screens. What started as a murder mystery became instead the story of the quirkiest town ever. The residents were soon the focus of more than the investigation into Laura Palmer's murder. So, clearly, we can't pick up where we left off, plus that murder was kinda solved. What we can do, though, is a copycat murder. Same town, same families, twenty years later. Who's with me?

4. Velveteen - In a universe where superheroes are contracted with a huge corporation, Velma "Velveteen" Martinez can control toys and stuffed animals. After losing everything, being cast as a supervillain and escaping to Oregon, she discovers there's something else she can do. She can change the world. Velveteen is a series of short stories (that you should all read - especially because they are free and amazing and the series is complete, so you don't have to do the crazy waiting game thing). Her story is inspiring and amazing and heartbreaking. I also really want to see someone wear those bunny ears ironically.

5. Primeval - I really had no interest in watching this show about dinosaurs that escape through "anomalies" into our world. But I was wrong - so very, very wrong. Witty and brilliant, this show was very much a serious Sci Fi series, but never took itself too seriously. The series went for five seasons (the longest with 10 episodes) and has spun off a Canadian version. It's never officially been cancelled and in the way of British series, it may one day return. But I think we should start fighting for a movie - just imagine the possibilities. And as long as Andrew-Lee Potts is there, I'm in.

What do you think that Kickstarter could revive? How would you like to spend your "votes?"

An Open Letter to Taylor Swift

Dear Taylor,

It seems like you're having a rough patch. You seem upset. You know, that happens and it's all cool. That whole thing with calling out Tina Fey, probably not the best move. But you know, I get it. You get your feelings hurt. Who wouldn't.

But here's the thing, sweetie. I'm going, as a person who loves and adores you, lay down some harsh truth. Something that I wish had been said to me a lot more when I was your age and doing the same thing on a much smaller scale.

None of it matters.

All the things they say, who cares? Here are a few reasons why:

1. First of all, who cares if they think you date too much? Are you asking your critics to date you? No. Then who needs to be comfortable with your dating history? That's right. Just you and whoever you decide to bring into the circle. Ignore the rest.
2. Seriously. The worst thing that anyone can think of to say about you is that you've had a lot of boyfriends? I wish to pants that was the worst insult I'd ever gotten. They're making a big deal out it because it makes them uncomfortable that you haven't had any major, public disasters. It could totally be worse.
3. Finally, Selling albums - check. Packing stadiums - check. Taking home awards - check. Looking super cute doing all of it - double check. You've got this.

Here's the thing, Tay-Tay: (Can I call you Tay-Tay?) I'm not part of your target audience. I'm old and cranky. But of all the people that my kids fall in love with over the radio, you are my favorite. Because you don't do any of the stupid crap that most celebrities do. You wear actual clothes that mostly cover your body. You don't act like a brat, get drunk and drive, shoplift or make me want to eat off my own arm to get away from you. You rock. 

My kids love you and I hate to admit it, but "Mean" is one of my favorite songs. 

It's hard to laugh when people say mean things about you. In fact, most of us don't ever have to do that, but thanks to your fame, you're gonna. And if you can't find the funny in what they're saying, just close your eyes and laugh at how hard they had to work to insult you. 

And this is all gonna blow over. It's just been a slow month. In a few days someone's going to flash their panties (or lack thereof) getting out of limo and *poof* it's like none of this ever happened. 

Love you sweetie,

Jessi

P.S. Write about whatever you wanna write about. Don't let anyone ever tell you that your pain doesn't belong to you because someone else gave it to you. 

Happy Music - Maybe Too Happy?

I'm going to attempt to do this memey thing called 30 Days of Song. I will not post this every day, because oh-my-pants-I'm-bored-already. Instead I'll post once or twice a week, as I feel like. So there. I am unrepentantly stealing this from Jen O. at My Tornado Alley. She rocks. I'm not sure if she stole it from somewhere, but here we go. 

Also, we are in the home stretch ya'll. We may finish this before I die.

A Song I Listen to When I'm Happy

In my head, in that space where I'm constantly striving to be good  and fair and balanced and completely accepting of people, I think that there is no such thing as good music and bad music - there is music that speaks to you and music that doesn't. And probably, if a song doesn't speak to you, it's because it's busy speaking to someone else.

But then there is this part of me that is sort of a music snob. And I don't really know enough about music to explain what I think is good music and what I think is bad music. I just know. And I like to listen to good music. Furthermore, I like for people to believe that I listen to good music.

So prepare yourself. Because if there is good music and bad music... Well, let's just go with there isn't. This is fine. It's happy and skippy and makes me dance ridiculously.

"I don't know if I'll make it, but watch how good I fake it..."



Day 1 - Your Favorite Song - White Blank Page
Day 2 - Your Least Favorite Song - Barbie Girl
Day 3 -  A Song that Makes You Happy - Birdhouse in Your Soul
Day 4 - A Song that Makes You Sad - Anna Begins
Day 5 - A Song that Reminds you of Someone - Friend of the Devil
Day 6 - A Song that Reminds you of Somewhere - Least Complicated
Day 7 - A Song that Reminds You of a Certain Event - Mrs. Potter's Lullaby
Day 8 - A Song that You Know All the Words To  - It's the End of the World as We Know It
Day 9 - A Song that You Can Dance to - Some Nights
Day 10 - A Song that Makes you Fall Asleep  - Ice Cream
Day 11 - A Song from your Favorite Band - Later On 
Day 12 - A Song from a band you Hate - Life is a Highway
Day 13 - A Song that is a Guilty Pleasure  - Loving You is the Dumbest Thing
Day 14 - A Song that No One Would Expect you to Love - Mean
Day 15 - A Song that Describes You - She Don't Want Nobody Near 
Day 16 - A Song that You Used to Love but Now Hate - Drops of Jupiter 
Day 17 - A Song that You Hear Often on the Radio - Little Talks
Day 18 - A Song that You Wish You Heard on the Radio - Grey Ghost 
Day 19 - A Song from your Favorite Album - Normal Like You 
Day 20 - A Song that You Listen to When You're Angry  - Not Ready to Make Nice
Day 21 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Happy (today)
Day 22 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Sad
Day 23 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Wedding
Day 24 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Funeral
Day 25 - A Song that Makes you Laugh
Day 26 - A Song that you Can Play on an Instrument
Day 27 - A Song that you Wish you Could Play
Day 28 - A Song that Makes you Feel Guilty
Day 29 - A Song from Your Childhood
Day 30 - Your Favorite Song at this Time Last Year

The Magic of Water, Soap and Agitation

A few months ago, I went down to the basement to switch out the laundry. I emptied the dryer and opened the washer.

Hmm. There appears to be an awful lot of water in there.

I turned the dial to spin and hit the start button.

Hmm. Shouldn't there be spinning now. Or that plane taking off noise. Or something.

A lot of hard work and phone calls on the part of my stepdad and lo and behold, turns out the board was shot and the water pump was leaking. $400

Wait, how much does a new washer cost?

I went round and round about the fix vs. replace issue, and finally landed on "I'm broke, who cares."

No, just kidding. I decided on "I'm broke, but when I'm not I'm gonna buy me an awesome rockin' washing machine of wonder."

And I did.

The End.

Just kidding again. I mean, kinda. That is the end.

But there's more from the middle.

See, in the meantime, I had these kids. And this job and all of these things required that there be clean clothes in my life. Fortunately, I have the world's greatest mom who did my laundry for about three months. Because she loves me.

However, as of last Thursday, I have a washing machine. And there was much rejoicing! (*Yay*)

And here's the thing: I could not love having my laundry capabilities back more. I am so freakin' happy to be capable of clothes washing. However, well, I think this is best expressed in list form:

1. Of course, three months is apparently enough time to do some serious damage. What I'm saying here is that even though a few short months ago, I was within two loads of being caught up, I will never-ever-ever get caught up again. The bed clothes alone are worth probably two months of laundry goodness. 
2. I own far too many towels. Who needs that many towels?
3. Oh, I love my comforter. I didn't want my mom to have to deal with it (or schlep the thing all the way to her house) so I've just made do with quilts and blankets. Last night I slept with a comforter and I think I actually died for seven and one half hours - that's how good I slept.
4. Putting away all these clean clothes is a pain.
5. A pain which my children are very soon going to experience. In spades. The only reason they haven't yet is that I've been trying to weed out all the things that don't fit from their drawers because I seriously don't know how all these clean clothes are going to fit.
6. Have I mentioned that I am abysmally behind? 
7. Because combine number 5 and number 6 and explain to me how this ever worked out. Seriously, I don't feel like they own that many clothes. I think I need to re-evaluate my children's clothing buying habits.

In short. Clean clothes = happy Jessi. May your jeans always be clean, your towels always be soft and may you never have to wear mis-matched character knee socks to work. Amen.

Five Things: Charitable Children Edition

That thing in her hand is her ponytail. I know you can't
really see it, but she wouldn't let me take another.

You know, I try to raise good kids. I really do. Sometimes I forget in the daily drive to survive until nightfall, but I really do. Recently someone asked me why I volunteer. The answer to that is that I think I should. I actually don't think I do nearly enough. The way I put is it this: I believe that we all owe the world something. We can pay it with money or we can pay it with time and I can't afford much money.

While most of the things that go on inside my head are a little cray-cray, this is actually one that I want to pass on to my kids. To that end, I've been thinking more and more about getting my kids involved in charity. The problem is that when kids volunteer, it usually means more work/time/investment for parents. Here are some things we've done in the past to keep the impact high and the commitment low.

Five Ideas to Help Your Kids Be Charitable - with Money or Time

1. Locks of Love - Locks of Love is a nonprofit that provides quality hairpieces to kids with long-term medical issues that lead to hair loss. It's a neat charity that helps kids understand a few things: you can help people with things you barely knew you had, everybody wants to feel normal, and maybe most importantly, everyone is facing a different set of challenges. To donate to Locks of Love, you need 10 inches of non-bleached hair cut in a ponytail. Click here to see a more detailed list of requirements. I've given to Locks of Love three times and this past week, Maren made her first donation. It can be hard to not give up when you're trying to grow an extra ten inches (or in Maren's case, when you have a mommy who can't remember to make you a hair appointment - for months), but it's pretty much worth it.

2. Community Clean-Ups - Once a year, my super-small town has a "clean-up day." This is the day set aside to get the streets, parks and common areas ready for spring and summer. Everyone is invited to participate and pick up trash, plant flowers and give everything a spit and polish. Brynna and I have participated a couple of years. If possible, this year, we're all three going. It's a reminder that these things don't happen by themselves. Someone has to pick up the litter, tend the plants, make sure the equipment is still safe and that the bathrooms are clean. It also gives them a sense of ownership over their communities.

3. Animal Shelters - Did you know that most animal shelters need help walking dogs? We've never done this, but it seems like a really fun family activity. Especially for a dogless family like ours. Other things that kids can do for animal shelters are sew small pillows for cats to nap on, gather food and treats and paint doggy bandannas for adoption fairs. (Just call and ask the shelter first to make sure that what you want to do is actually needed.)

4. Spend-Save-Give - Brynna has been getting an allowance for about a month. I really struggled with allowance. But finally settled on a method and amount that works for both of us. Then, I set out the rules. Every week, she gets a variable amount depending on her grades (by the way, I'm accepting ideas on summer allowance) and every week she MUST save some, spend some and give some away. She's given some to church and some to a Girl Scout project to send cookies to soldiers stationed overseas. It's fun to see her figure out what she cares about.

5. Make Something - A couple of years ago, I talked about the hats we were making for cancer patients. This would be a great project for kids. Another idea is tray favors for nursing homes. Kids love these little crafts and it's nice for them to learn about sharing that love.

The girls' Girl Scout troop has been focused all year long on community service projects. We've made hats for the homeless, painted Christmas stockings for boys living in a group home, collected canned goods for the hungry, provided the fixin's for Thanksgiving dinner for a needy family and we're still not done.

It's been a great experience for the girls. Sometimes you just have to remind them that there are other people out there in the world and that they may need your help. They usually do the rest.

Magic from the Dark Times

Yes, I hand wrote this post first.
Because the irony of blogging
about handwriting is not lost
on me. Well, maybe a little.

I used to always carry a blank book and a decent pen. I wrote all kinds of things. Mostly little snippets of fiction, description and poetry. Terribly lame high school poetry. But, I also wrote song lyrics, quotes or little things that happened through the day. I had stacks and stacks of those filled books.

At some point, I quit carrying them. I blame the computer. I quit writing by hand because I'm quicker on the computer, because it's easier to edit, because even I can't read my writing some days. Because I find the sound of the keyboard to be soothing.

About a year ago, I started carrying a comp book. It doesn't serve the same purpose - my comp books tend to fill with meeting minutes, grocery lists, meal plans and budgets. (I grew up and got boring.) But carrying around that book has taught me something, or reminded me of something. I like to write. I don't mean writing as in creative writing. I knew that. I've never forgotten that, despite the fact that I don't do it nearly enough. I mean, I like the physical act of pen meeting paper: the light scritching noise, the magic of ink left behind, the sharp ache of hand cramps.

There's a magic to writing on the computer. The clicking keyboard, the black on white and the steady scroll. It's the magic of technology. It's sleek and clean, smelling of ozone. The magic of pen and paper is older - more visceral. It's a cauldron of bubbling brew on a starlit night. Herbs and fire and the clean smell of the outdoors.

One is not superior to the other, necessarily. But neither is one a replacement for the other. Today, I'm focusing on old magic. On the joy and pain and mystical forces of ink. On the bright flame of magic across a dark night.

When I'm Angry

I'm going to attempt to do this memey thing called 30 Days of Song. I will not post this every day, because oh-my-pants-I'm-bored-already. Instead I'll post once or twice a week, as I feel like. So there. I am unrepentantly stealing this from Jen O. at My Tornado Alley. She rocks. I'm not sure if she stole it from somewhere, but here we go. 

Also, I'm a bad, bad blogger. Sorry about that. I promise I'll be better. Starting tomorrow. When I post something not memey. Promise.

A Song I Listen to When I'm Angry

When I'm angry, I wanna yell. So listening to really angry music is about the best, most constructive thing I can do. It also helps if it has some really trucker-pirate-sailor kinda language. But I'm not picky. Also, I particularly like it when girls get angry. This is perfect angry girl music:



Day 1 - Your Favorite Song - White Blank Page
Day 2 - Your Least Favorite Song - Barbie Girl
Day 3 -  A Song that Makes You Happy - Birdhouse in Your Soul
Day 4 - A Song that Makes You Sad - Anna Begins
Day 5 - A Song that Reminds you of Someone - Friend of the Devil
Day 6 - A Song that Reminds you of Somewhere - Least Complicated
Day 7 - A Song that Reminds You of a Certain Event - Mrs. Potter's Lullaby
Day 8 - A Song that You Know All the Words To  - It's the End of the World as We Know It
Day 9 - A Song that You Can Dance to - Some Nights
Day 10 - A Song that Makes you Fall Asleep  - Ice Cream
Day 11 - A Song from your Favorite Band - Later On 
Day 12 - A Song from a band you Hate - Life is a Highway
Day 13 - A Song that is a Guilty Pleasure  - Loving You is the Dumbest Thing
Day 14 - A Song that No One Would Expect you to Love - Mean
Day 15 - A Song that Describes You - She Don't Want Nobody Near 
Day 16 - A Song that You Used to Love but Now Hate - Drops of Jupiter 
Day 17 - A Song that You Hear Often on the Radio - Little Talks
Day 18 - A Song that You Wish You Heard on the Radio - Grey Ghost 
Day 19 - A Song from your Favorite Album - Normal Like You 
Day 20 - A Song that You Listen to When You're Angry (today)
Day 21 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Happy
Day 22 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Sad
Day 23 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Wedding
Day 24 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Funeral
Day 25 - A Song that Makes you Laugh
Day 26 - A Song that you Can Play on an Instrument
Day 27 - A Song that you Wish you Could Play
Day 28 - A Song that Makes you Feel Guilty
Day 29 - A Song from Your Childhood
Day 30 - Your Favorite Song at this Time Last Year