I'm going to attempt to do this memey thing called 30 Days of Song. I will not post this every day, because oh-my-pants-I'm-bored-already. Instead I'll post once or twice a week, as I feel like. So there. I am unrepentantly stealing this from Jen O. at My Tornado Alley. She rocks. I'm not sure if she stole it from somewhere, but here we go.
Also, we are in the home stretch ya'll. We may finish this before I die.
A Song I Want Played at my Funeral
The first thing you have to know is that I don't want a funeral. I mean, I want something. Just not a funeral. I find funerals in the traditional sense to be horrific. I dread them, I try to get out of them, I make myself sick thinking about going to them. There is nothing more terrible than listening to depressing hymns broadcast over a loud speaker, then driving interminably slowly to the cematary to stand next to a box and a rock. Also, the smell of the flowers. Wow. Only funerals could ruin the smell of flowers.
No, I want a memorial. I want a party. I want margaritas and loud music and laughter. I want people to tell stories about me and eat cheesecake and remember me the way I was, not as some Tammy Faye corpse laying in a box. So, no sad music. Because I'm not big on sad music. So, rock out Jessi fans. It was good livin' with ya.
Day 1 - Your Favorite Song - White Blank Page
Day 2 - Your Least Favorite Song - Barbie Girl
Day 3 - A Song that Makes You Happy - Birdhouse in Your Soul
Day 4 - A Song that Makes You Sad - Anna Begins
Day 5 - A Song that Reminds you of Someone - Friend of the Devil
Day 6 - A Song that Reminds you of Somewhere - Least Complicated
Day 7 - A Song that Reminds You of a Certain Event - Mrs. Potter's Lullaby
Day 8 - A Song that You Know All the Words To - It's the End of the World as We Know It
Day 9 - A Song that You Can Dance to - Some Nights
Day 10 - A Song that Makes you Fall Asleep - Ice Cream
Day 11 - A Song from your Favorite Band - Later On
Day 12 - A Song from a band you Hate - Life is a Highway
Day 13 - A Song that is a Guilty Pleasure - Loving You is the Dumbest Thing
Day 14 - A Song that No One Would Expect you to Love - Mean
Day 15 - A Song that Describes You - She Don't Want Nobody Near
Day 16 - A Song that You Used to Love but Now Hate - Drops of Jupiter
Day 17 - A Song that You Hear Often on the Radio - Little Talks
Day 18 - A Song that You Wish You Heard on the Radio - Grey Ghost
Day 19 - A Song from your Favorite Album - Normal Like You
Day 20 - A Song that You Listen to When You're Angry - Not Ready to Make Nice
Day 21 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Happy
Day 22 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Sad - Angel Mine
Day 23 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Wedding - Friday I'm in Love
Day 24 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Funeral (today)
Day 25 - A Song that Makes you Laugh
Day 26 - A Song that you Can Play on an Instrument
Day 27 - A Song that you Wish you Could Play
Day 28 - A Song that Makes you Feel Guilty
Day 29 - A Song from Your Childhood
Day 30 - Your Favorite Song at this Time Last Year
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
Making It: Disney Edition
Wow. It's been awhile since I've done one of these. And this one is going to be all compilation-ey. Sorry. But, look, it's good stuff. With pictures. Seriously.
Anyway, when I started planning our Disney trip, the first thing I started doing was planning all the things I was going to make the girls. A week of matching t-shirts! Park Packs! Water bottles! Yadda, yadda. My eyes were bigger than my time. But I did make a few things. And I was happy with each and every one of them!
Autograph Books
You can buy autograph books all over the park. All different types. And then, you take them with you when you go to meet a character and they autograph it for you. It's a cute idea, and the books aren't outrageous. (I think $10-$15) was the most common I saw. But we went a different way. I picked up these red notebooks for $4.99 for a pack of three. Then, using adhesive backed black felt, I cut out a Mickey's head and an initial. I free-handed the initials, but you could easily print off a letter and trace it out. After cutting out the "stickers" and adding them, I tied a short length of ribbon to a Sharpie and glued it to the inside back cover of the book. Simple, sweet and easy to use. The total cost (including Sharpie) was about $4.63 each. In addition to saving about $5, we had them the moment we walked into the first park. This was handy because we immediately jumped into line by Snow White and were only about third back to meet her. They are also personalized. We only used a few pages, because the girls didn't want to waste a lot of time in line, so I'm going to hold onto these for the next trip. Since they are sort of classic, I don't think anyone will be "growing out" of theirs soon.
I saw this idea on Pinterest and immediately thought it was great. A big part of the anxiety I have surrounding crowds is getting separated from whoever I'm with. When it's another adult, I tend to cling like a scared puppy. I can't do that to my kids. Showing them just how scared I am is only going to make them scared. So, I hold on as tight as I can, explain how important it is to stay close and work at keeping my freakouts to a minimum. Strapping my cell phone number to my kids wrist? Very helpful. I explained when I put them on what they were and what they were for. If they became misplaced, they were to stick to the spot, flag down a cast member and have them call me. Thankfully, I didn't have to use them, but wow, was it a relief to know they were there. I put a lot of thought into how to make these. Elastic seemed to be the most useful, but I didn't want the bracelet to get lost, that would defeat the purpose. Eventually, I strung the number beads and some colored pony beads onto embroidery floss and tied them on. The girls knew that they were to stay on until the vacation was over. Worked like a charm. Finding the number beads was a bear, so start looking early. We eventually tracked them down at Hobby Lobby. I had to buy pretty large bags of beads, so I can't accurately tell you a project cost. Peace of mind is probably worth it, though.
This last one is just for fun. If you're going to be around a pool, you need flip flops, right? Of course, and why not have fun and pretty ones? I got the cheapest plain flip flops I could find and tied ribbons around them. That's pretty much it. I can tell you that I used ten strips of each ribbon on each flip flop and that the strips were about 5 inches long. I used four different ribbons, alternating. One of my "ribbons" was actually a spool of tulle and this helped amp up the fluffiness and also made the ribbon stretch. You might need more if you stick to just ribbon. For this project, I put $2 into the flip flops and bought a spool of ribbon for each for about $2 a spool. The rest of the ribbon came from my ribbon box. If you don't have a ribbon box, this could easily top $10 a pair, depending on ribbon.
Anyway, when I started planning our Disney trip, the first thing I started doing was planning all the things I was going to make the girls. A week of matching t-shirts! Park Packs! Water bottles! Yadda, yadda. My eyes were bigger than my time. But I did make a few things. And I was happy with each and every one of them!
Autograph Books
You can buy autograph books all over the park. All different types. And then, you take them with you when you go to meet a character and they autograph it for you. It's a cute idea, and the books aren't outrageous. (I think $10-$15) was the most common I saw. But we went a different way. I picked up these red notebooks for $4.99 for a pack of three. Then, using adhesive backed black felt, I cut out a Mickey's head and an initial. I free-handed the initials, but you could easily print off a letter and trace it out. After cutting out the "stickers" and adding them, I tied a short length of ribbon to a Sharpie and glued it to the inside back cover of the book. Simple, sweet and easy to use. The total cost (including Sharpie) was about $4.63 each. In addition to saving about $5, we had them the moment we walked into the first park. This was handy because we immediately jumped into line by Snow White and were only about third back to meet her. They are also personalized. We only used a few pages, because the girls didn't want to waste a lot of time in line, so I'm going to hold onto these for the next trip. Since they are sort of classic, I don't think anyone will be "growing out" of theirs soon.
Phone Number Bracelet
I saw this idea on Pinterest and immediately thought it was great. A big part of the anxiety I have surrounding crowds is getting separated from whoever I'm with. When it's another adult, I tend to cling like a scared puppy. I can't do that to my kids. Showing them just how scared I am is only going to make them scared. So, I hold on as tight as I can, explain how important it is to stay close and work at keeping my freakouts to a minimum. Strapping my cell phone number to my kids wrist? Very helpful. I explained when I put them on what they were and what they were for. If they became misplaced, they were to stick to the spot, flag down a cast member and have them call me. Thankfully, I didn't have to use them, but wow, was it a relief to know they were there. I put a lot of thought into how to make these. Elastic seemed to be the most useful, but I didn't want the bracelet to get lost, that would defeat the purpose. Eventually, I strung the number beads and some colored pony beads onto embroidery floss and tied them on. The girls knew that they were to stay on until the vacation was over. Worked like a charm. Finding the number beads was a bear, so start looking early. We eventually tracked them down at Hobby Lobby. I had to buy pretty large bags of beads, so I can't accurately tell you a project cost. Peace of mind is probably worth it, though.
Flip Flops
This last one is just for fun. If you're going to be around a pool, you need flip flops, right? Of course, and why not have fun and pretty ones? I got the cheapest plain flip flops I could find and tied ribbons around them. That's pretty much it. I can tell you that I used ten strips of each ribbon on each flip flop and that the strips were about 5 inches long. I used four different ribbons, alternating. One of my "ribbons" was actually a spool of tulle and this helped amp up the fluffiness and also made the ribbon stretch. You might need more if you stick to just ribbon. For this project, I put $2 into the flip flops and bought a spool of ribbon for each for about $2 a spool. The rest of the ribbon came from my ribbon box. If you don't have a ribbon box, this could easily top $10 a pair, depending on ribbon.
I have a nice long list of projects for the next trip. We'll see how many I get made then.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Five Things on Friday: Little Things Edition
I've had a bad week. I had a board meeting for my work at Tiny Nonprofit of Doom. Three days of stress, lack of sleep and worry that something, somewhere will go wrong and it will magically be my fault. (The board, by the way, is by and large, great. It's me that takes this on and obsesses about it. Part of my inherent neuroses. At least I recognize it, yo.) And one of the largest events that takes place all year at the semi-touristy spot my office resides in. I hate crowds. And traffic. So I hide for a few days and la-la-la myself into tranquility.
In the meantime, this week, I have been a Mrs. Yellypants with my kids, I have ignored my whiny DRV and forgotten to feed my cats for two days. When I am under this kind of stress, I tend to not be a person you wanna hang with.
And whenever I get like this, I try to focus on something that can make me happy RIGHT NOW. Because that is the only way I'm going to live through this. Like Courtney Love. But with less mascara.
Here are:
Five Little Things that Keep Me from Being an Axe* Murderer
1. Reading things that don't take a great deal of brainpower - I just finished Angel's Ink and cannot recommend it with enough gusto. This is probably my favorite book I've read this year. It made me furiously happy instead of furious. Brain surgery, it's not, but a wonderful magic world filled with compelling characters, it totally is. Now, I'm reading The Book of Drugs, which is weird, but oddly fulfilling. I find myself falling into the cadence in my speech after reading for a while. Also, I loved Soul Coughing and if possible, love Mike Doughty more. So, there's that. I was there (ish). I listened to that drugged out music and never knew how it was eating itself.
2. 90's Music - This week, for some reason, I've allowed myself to fall back into listening to all the things that I used to love, Nirvana, Poe, Liz Phair. Listen, children who have come after me. Listen while I tell you tales of how music used to be. How it was angry and loud, how it was amazing and quiet. How you could lay on the floor and let it wash over you like waves. Let me tell you how we had angry women and they were appreciated for speaking out and speaking up. They weren't marginalized for having the nerve to be angry and female at the same time. We had songs about school shootings and bombings and the terrible things that happen in the world, because that is how art is made. By staring into the abyss and letting it stare back. Listen.
3. Candy Crush - I know. I've joined them. Help me, help me before I turn into a complete pod person. Drag me out by my toes if necessary. This is my official cry for help.
4. Flower Shopping - I have made a decision. It is time to stop talking about fixing up my house and start fixing. I started by painting the living room. I'm not done. Let's be honest, this isn't going to be quick. But it's going to get done. There will be doneness, I swear. Part of that is the front of my house, which looks roughly abandoned, except for the scooters. So, Michigan Bulb, here I come. By the way, all the flowers I like are spring flowers, please someone recommend a summer flower for me...
5. The Countdown - The weekend will be here in T minus 4 minutes. And I cannot wait. I will be sleeping late, cleaning house and playing board games with my kids. There will be junk food. And sleep. Did I mention sleep? Because there is going to be lots and lots of sleep.
*If you're going to murder people with an axe, you can spell it with an "e." It's in the rulebooks.
What makes you happy when you're stressed?
In the meantime, this week, I have been a Mrs. Yellypants with my kids, I have ignored my whiny DRV and forgotten to feed my cats for two days. When I am under this kind of stress, I tend to not be a person you wanna hang with.
And whenever I get like this, I try to focus on something that can make me happy RIGHT NOW. Because that is the only way I'm going to live through this. Like Courtney Love. But with less mascara.
Here are:
Five Little Things that Keep Me from Being an Axe* Murderer
1. Reading things that don't take a great deal of brainpower - I just finished Angel's Ink and cannot recommend it with enough gusto. This is probably my favorite book I've read this year. It made me furiously happy instead of furious. Brain surgery, it's not, but a wonderful magic world filled with compelling characters, it totally is. Now, I'm reading The Book of Drugs, which is weird, but oddly fulfilling. I find myself falling into the cadence in my speech after reading for a while. Also, I loved Soul Coughing and if possible, love Mike Doughty more. So, there's that. I was there (ish). I listened to that drugged out music and never knew how it was eating itself.
2. 90's Music - This week, for some reason, I've allowed myself to fall back into listening to all the things that I used to love, Nirvana, Poe, Liz Phair. Listen, children who have come after me. Listen while I tell you tales of how music used to be. How it was angry and loud, how it was amazing and quiet. How you could lay on the floor and let it wash over you like waves. Let me tell you how we had angry women and they were appreciated for speaking out and speaking up. They weren't marginalized for having the nerve to be angry and female at the same time. We had songs about school shootings and bombings and the terrible things that happen in the world, because that is how art is made. By staring into the abyss and letting it stare back. Listen.
3. Candy Crush - I know. I've joined them. Help me, help me before I turn into a complete pod person. Drag me out by my toes if necessary. This is my official cry for help.
4. Flower Shopping - I have made a decision. It is time to stop talking about fixing up my house and start fixing. I started by painting the living room. I'm not done. Let's be honest, this isn't going to be quick. But it's going to get done. There will be doneness, I swear. Part of that is the front of my house, which looks roughly abandoned, except for the scooters. So, Michigan Bulb, here I come. By the way, all the flowers I like are spring flowers, please someone recommend a summer flower for me...
5. The Countdown - The weekend will be here in T minus 4 minutes. And I cannot wait. I will be sleeping late, cleaning house and playing board games with my kids. There will be junk food. And sleep. Did I mention sleep? Because there is going to be lots and lots of sleep.
*If you're going to murder people with an axe, you can spell it with an "e." It's in the rulebooks.
What makes you happy when you're stressed?
Monday, April 22, 2013
Conversations with an Eight Year Old
It's been a while since I've done conversations with Brynna. The thing about being eight is that your precious misunderstanding phase is largely over. The memorable conversations are memorable for much different reasons. Like these:
Me: Brynna, wake up.
Brynna: Can I snooze.
Me: No, you cannot. Sorry. The power is out, we didn't lay out clothes and we have to get dressed in the dark. This means more time.
Brynna: I hate the dark. Why is the power out?
Me: There was a storm last night.
Brynna: Hm. Do you think that God sent the storm to make me less afraid of the dark?
___________________________
Brynna: You're the best person in the world.
Me: No, I'm really not. But thank you anyway.
Brynna: Seriously. You are. Who's a better person than you?
Me: Hm. Mother Theresa.
Brynna: Who's that?
Me: She was a nun and she gave up everything to live in poverty and take care of children and feed the hungry. She spoke out for those who were marginalized and took care of the sick. She was a pretty awesome person.
Brynna: What do you mean was? Is she dead?
Me: Yes, she died a few years ago.
Brynna: O-Kay. Well, then you are the best living person in the world. Really Mom, dead people don't count.
_________________________
Brynna: Don't push.
Maren: I'm not pushing.
Brynna: You are so. I almost fell. Don't push.
Maren: You are soo mean. I'm not pushing.
Brynna: Then why did I almost fall? Huh? Huh?
Maren: Maybe you tripped?
Brynna: Oh. Maybe. Huh. Could be.
Me: Brynna, wake up.
Brynna: Can I snooze.
Me: No, you cannot. Sorry. The power is out, we didn't lay out clothes and we have to get dressed in the dark. This means more time.
Brynna: I hate the dark. Why is the power out?
Me: There was a storm last night.
Brynna: Hm. Do you think that God sent the storm to make me less afraid of the dark?
___________________________
Brynna: You're the best person in the world.
Me: No, I'm really not. But thank you anyway.
Brynna: Seriously. You are. Who's a better person than you?
Me: Hm. Mother Theresa.
Brynna: Who's that?
Me: She was a nun and she gave up everything to live in poverty and take care of children and feed the hungry. She spoke out for those who were marginalized and took care of the sick. She was a pretty awesome person.
Brynna: What do you mean was? Is she dead?
Me: Yes, she died a few years ago.
Brynna: O-Kay. Well, then you are the best living person in the world. Really Mom, dead people don't count.
_________________________
Brynna: Don't push.
Maren: I'm not pushing.
Brynna: You are so. I almost fell. Don't push.
Maren: You are soo mean. I'm not pushing.
Brynna: Then why did I almost fall? Huh? Huh?
Maren: Maybe you tripped?
Brynna: Oh. Maybe. Huh. Could be.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Five Things on Friday: Bad Decision Edition
 |
| Wish I were here. |
It's an ongoing thing. Especially for me. Because no matter how much I talk and talk to them I just seem to keep making the same bad choices. Here are
Five Bad Decisions I've Recently Made
1. To paint my living room - this weekend. I do this thing where I decide that something needs to be redecorated right now and I can't wait any longer. I also do this other thing where I know in my pretty little head that I have this thing on Saturday at 2 and this other thing on Saturday at 2 and it never occurs to me that those are essentially the same times. So, this weekend, I have to take the girls to Girl Scouts tonight, chaperone a troop trip to Disney on Ice on Saturday, and work all Sunday afternoon and evening for our biannual Board meeting. Of course, I should paint the biggest room in my house. Su-ure.
2. To buy produce. I don't know when I'll learn that this is pretty much always a bad idea for me. I have lofty aspirations, I buy food, I put it in the fridge, my week goes up in flames and suddenly, I have week old everything and haven't eaten a single radish.
3. To make salads when I was tired. I did, however, try to make salads this week. The problem was that I forgot to do it the night before, got up early and stumbled bleary eyed into the kitchen. I tore up the house trying to find a measuring spoon so that I could measure the dressing. Because I'm being good, that's why. Finally found it, and began layering the salad. I was obscenely proud of myself. Took it to work. Discovered that I did not put enough lettuce in said salad and I had something akin to lettuce soup.
4. To open the windows. Welcome to Kentucky. If you don't like the weather, well, you probably will before I finish this sentence. It's been hot. Like 80's, so not miserable, but still hot. I knew it wouldn't last, so I didn't turn on the air conditioning, but laying in bed last night, I felt like I was going to suffocate. So I opened my bedroom window. What I forgot was that there was a storm comin'. I woke up this morning freezing and sleeping on a wet pillow.
5. To put off laundry. I have been sooo tired lately. I've come to realize that between my thyroid, my depression and my actual honest-to-goodness lack of sleep, the only thing I can do in these times is the best I can. Go to bed early, sleep as late as possible. Take my vitamins, eat well and exercise. And go easy on myself. So, this entire week, I've been sort of lackadaisical about laundry. So, three day Board meeting this weekend, clean clothes: none. Girls with the Ex for the weekend: Clean clothes: None. Seriously. I cobbled something together for the girls, but if I don't do something tonight, I'm going to spend the weekend painting naked.
Make me feel better... What bad decisions have you made lately?
Thursday, April 18, 2013
On Feeling Vulnerable
Monday night, I was involved in a hit-and-run accident. I'm fine, my car is even fine. A woman backed into me in the grocery parking lot and did a small, but noticeable amount of damage to my bumper. I was in the car at the time, preparing to leave and jumped out and got her license plate number. I also had two witnesses who saw what happened and corroborated the events.
But, since the woman denies having hit me and the damage is so slight, I can't do anything. The police won't file a report, because the damage was under $500 and apparently it's a case of "she said, she said." Except, I don't think it should be because I have witnesses. But I don't officially, because there's no police report.
Essentially, this woman hit my car then broke the law by driving away, but nothing is going to happen. To her or to my precious bumper.
And this has been eating me alive.
Because I feel like a very naive child. Because I expected there to be something. When someone breaks the law and then gets caught, they are supposed to have consequences. That's how the system works. I don't want her to go to jail for a fender bender, but there should be consequences. If there aren't, then why should anyone follow the rules ever.
And as that complicated idea bounced around my skull, I realized that what all this amounts to is that I feel vulnerable.
And I know that it's not just this lady and her speedy SUV of doom making me feel that way. I feel vulnerable because I lost a friend too early. Because my insurance company hates me and ignoring the situation isn't going to make it go away. Because the voices in my head like to tell me I'm helpless. But it's also the lady in the SUV and the local police and the insurance company and the whole world looking at the chip in my tail light on the other side and saying, "Just let it go."
I know that the only way to make myself feel less vulnerable is to concentrate on what I can change and on living and kicking life's ass. But there is still this part of me that wants to lie down and cry. That wants to be taken care of. That wants someone to fix this. Because I know it's not that big of a deal and I know it's not all that important, but if there is justice in the world, it should be for the little as well as the big.
I believe in truth. In actions and consequences. In reason and clear expectations. And sometimes I forget that the rest of the world doesn't.
But, since the woman denies having hit me and the damage is so slight, I can't do anything. The police won't file a report, because the damage was under $500 and apparently it's a case of "she said, she said." Except, I don't think it should be because I have witnesses. But I don't officially, because there's no police report.
Essentially, this woman hit my car then broke the law by driving away, but nothing is going to happen. To her or to my precious bumper.
And this has been eating me alive.
Because I feel like a very naive child. Because I expected there to be something. When someone breaks the law and then gets caught, they are supposed to have consequences. That's how the system works. I don't want her to go to jail for a fender bender, but there should be consequences. If there aren't, then why should anyone follow the rules ever.
And as that complicated idea bounced around my skull, I realized that what all this amounts to is that I feel vulnerable.
And I know that it's not just this lady and her speedy SUV of doom making me feel that way. I feel vulnerable because I lost a friend too early. Because my insurance company hates me and ignoring the situation isn't going to make it go away. Because the voices in my head like to tell me I'm helpless. But it's also the lady in the SUV and the local police and the insurance company and the whole world looking at the chip in my tail light on the other side and saying, "Just let it go."
I know that the only way to make myself feel less vulnerable is to concentrate on what I can change and on living and kicking life's ass. But there is still this part of me that wants to lie down and cry. That wants to be taken care of. That wants someone to fix this. Because I know it's not that big of a deal and I know it's not all that important, but if there is justice in the world, it should be for the little as well as the big.
I believe in truth. In actions and consequences. In reason and clear expectations. And sometimes I forget that the rest of the world doesn't.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Wedding Band Edition
I'm going to attempt to do this memey thing called 30 Days of Song. I will not post this every day, because oh-my-pants-I'm-bored-already. Instead I'll post once or twice a week, as I feel like. So there. I am unrepentantly stealing this from Jen O. at My Tornado Alley. She rocks. I'm not sure if she stole it from somewhere, but here we go.
Also, we are in the home stretch ya'll. We may finish this before I die.
A Song I Want Played at my Wedding
You know, that's a really hard question to answer. So many ways to go. I could tell you about what played at my wedding the first time around. I could make a joke out of it. I don't know what's going to happen in my future. I have no idea if I'll ever remarry. And if I do, maybe I'll marry someone who has more definite opinions on music than I do. Maybe we'll elope. Maybe, maybe, maybe. This just isn't in the realm of things that I want to waste headspace on right now.
That said, the only real thoughts I have given to that vague concept of "maybe, next time around," is that I'm not going to do the whole weddingy thing again. I mean, I'll have a wedding, but not like last time. It's going to be fun. It's going to be wacky. It may be Doctor Who themed. That's all I'm sayin'.
Day 1 - Your Favorite Song - White Blank Page
Day 2 - Your Least Favorite Song - Barbie Girl
Day 3 - A Song that Makes You Happy - Birdhouse in Your Soul
Day 4 - A Song that Makes You Sad - Anna Begins
Day 5 - A Song that Reminds you of Someone - Friend of the Devil
Day 6 - A Song that Reminds you of Somewhere - Least Complicated
Day 7 - A Song that Reminds You of a Certain Event - Mrs. Potter's Lullaby
Day 8 - A Song that You Know All the Words To - It's the End of the World as We Know It
Day 9 - A Song that You Can Dance to - Some Nights
Day 10 - A Song that Makes you Fall Asleep - Ice Cream
Day 11 - A Song from your Favorite Band - Later On
Day 12 - A Song from a band you Hate - Life is a Highway
Day 13 - A Song that is a Guilty Pleasure - Loving You is the Dumbest Thing
Day 14 - A Song that No One Would Expect you to Love - Mean
Day 15 - A Song that Describes You - She Don't Want Nobody Near
Day 16 - A Song that You Used to Love but Now Hate - Drops of Jupiter
Day 17 - A Song that You Hear Often on the Radio - Little Talks
Day 18 - A Song that You Wish You Heard on the Radio - Grey Ghost
Day 19 - A Song from your Favorite Album - Normal Like You
Day 20 - A Song that You Listen to When You're Angry - Not Ready to Make Nice
Day 21 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Happy
Day 22 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Sad - Angel Mine
Day 23 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Wedding (today)
Day 24 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Funeral
Day 25 - A Song that Makes you Laugh
Day 26 - A Song that you Can Play on an Instrument
Day 27 - A Song that you Wish you Could Play
Day 28 - A Song that Makes you Feel Guilty
Day 29 - A Song from Your Childhood
Day 30 - Your Favorite Song at this Time Last Year
Also, we are in the home stretch ya'll. We may finish this before I die.
A Song I Want Played at my Wedding
You know, that's a really hard question to answer. So many ways to go. I could tell you about what played at my wedding the first time around. I could make a joke out of it. I don't know what's going to happen in my future. I have no idea if I'll ever remarry. And if I do, maybe I'll marry someone who has more definite opinions on music than I do. Maybe we'll elope. Maybe, maybe, maybe. This just isn't in the realm of things that I want to waste headspace on right now.
That said, the only real thoughts I have given to that vague concept of "maybe, next time around," is that I'm not going to do the whole weddingy thing again. I mean, I'll have a wedding, but not like last time. It's going to be fun. It's going to be wacky. It may be Doctor Who themed. That's all I'm sayin'.
Day 1 - Your Favorite Song - White Blank Page
Day 2 - Your Least Favorite Song - Barbie Girl
Day 3 - A Song that Makes You Happy - Birdhouse in Your Soul
Day 4 - A Song that Makes You Sad - Anna Begins
Day 5 - A Song that Reminds you of Someone - Friend of the Devil
Day 6 - A Song that Reminds you of Somewhere - Least Complicated
Day 7 - A Song that Reminds You of a Certain Event - Mrs. Potter's Lullaby
Day 8 - A Song that You Know All the Words To - It's the End of the World as We Know It
Day 9 - A Song that You Can Dance to - Some Nights
Day 10 - A Song that Makes you Fall Asleep - Ice Cream
Day 11 - A Song from your Favorite Band - Later On
Day 12 - A Song from a band you Hate - Life is a Highway
Day 13 - A Song that is a Guilty Pleasure - Loving You is the Dumbest Thing
Day 14 - A Song that No One Would Expect you to Love - Mean
Day 15 - A Song that Describes You - She Don't Want Nobody Near
Day 16 - A Song that You Used to Love but Now Hate - Drops of Jupiter
Day 17 - A Song that You Hear Often on the Radio - Little Talks
Day 18 - A Song that You Wish You Heard on the Radio - Grey Ghost
Day 19 - A Song from your Favorite Album - Normal Like You
Day 20 - A Song that You Listen to When You're Angry - Not Ready to Make Nice
Day 21 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Happy
Day 22 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Sad - Angel Mine
Day 23 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Wedding (today)
Day 24 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Funeral
Day 25 - A Song that Makes you Laugh
Day 26 - A Song that you Can Play on an Instrument
Day 27 - A Song that you Wish you Could Play
Day 28 - A Song that Makes you Feel Guilty
Day 29 - A Song from Your Childhood
Day 30 - Your Favorite Song at this Time Last Year
Monday, April 15, 2013
A Eulogy
Yesterday, April 14, 2013, a dear friend of mine passed away. I learned later that there would be no funeral or memorial for him. This is outside my experience and I feel at a flailing loss. I feel an intense need to do something, anything. Below is what I would say about him if there were a funeral and I were asked to speak.
I have, literally, known Noah for longer than anyone I am not related to. We have been friends since I was thirteen - 21 years. I could tell you stories about Noah. I could tell you about the time he nearly broke my wrist playing Egyptian Rat Screw. About the time he threw the dice when we were playing Risk and we lost one and couldn't finish the game. I could tell you about the time he drove all the way to the Kings Island exit because he wouldn't believe that I was right about the location of Riverbend. I could tell you about the time he swore he'd never speak to me again over Eric Clapton. Or when he nearly killed on of my ex-boyfriends for calling me a name.
They are funny stories. Stories that maybe should be written or told. Stories that not only make me laugh now, but also wrap up neatly who Noah was at his core: determined (or stubborn), passionate (or temperamental), and fiercely protective. He was a fighter, never failing to stand up for his friends, his opinions or his beliefs.
But telling those stories would betray what was at the heart of our friendship. Noah and I talked. Not all the time, we'd sometimes go months or on a couple of occasions, years, between our conversations, but when we talked, we talked for hours, deeply and without reservation. I had no secrets from Noah, because I'd eventually tell him everything. It's possible that he knew me better than anyone else.
We would talk about anything and everything, laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Sometimes well into the night. For years, I would come home from work some days to find that he had broken into my house and was just waiting for me to get home so we could play cards and talk.
Noah was there the night after my son died. He was there the day my daughter was born. He was there when I walked down the aisle, and in a different sort of way, he was there when I backed apprehensively away from my marriage.
Noah was a constant presence. Even when he was out of sight, he was always there. Today is the first day since I was an awkward, shy eighth grade girl that I have woken up to a world without Noah. I'm not sure that I'll ever become accustomed to it. I cannot understand why the rest of the world isn't reacting somehow to the hole he left behind.
In the end, he was angry with me. Angry because I called him out and angry because I wasn't as strong as he wanted me to be. He wanted me to be perfect, to prove to him that it could be done. I failed him and even though I know that there was nothing else I could do, I have had as difficult a time forgiving myself as he has had. The day before he left us, though, we talked like it had never happened. Because in many ways, it hadn't. At the end of the day, there was nothing left to say. We were who we always were.
In the end, the only thing left to be angry about is that he left us.
I have, literally, known Noah for longer than anyone I am not related to. We have been friends since I was thirteen - 21 years. I could tell you stories about Noah. I could tell you about the time he nearly broke my wrist playing Egyptian Rat Screw. About the time he threw the dice when we were playing Risk and we lost one and couldn't finish the game. I could tell you about the time he drove all the way to the Kings Island exit because he wouldn't believe that I was right about the location of Riverbend. I could tell you about the time he swore he'd never speak to me again over Eric Clapton. Or when he nearly killed on of my ex-boyfriends for calling me a name.
They are funny stories. Stories that maybe should be written or told. Stories that not only make me laugh now, but also wrap up neatly who Noah was at his core: determined (or stubborn), passionate (or temperamental), and fiercely protective. He was a fighter, never failing to stand up for his friends, his opinions or his beliefs.
But telling those stories would betray what was at the heart of our friendship. Noah and I talked. Not all the time, we'd sometimes go months or on a couple of occasions, years, between our conversations, but when we talked, we talked for hours, deeply and without reservation. I had no secrets from Noah, because I'd eventually tell him everything. It's possible that he knew me better than anyone else.
We would talk about anything and everything, laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Sometimes well into the night. For years, I would come home from work some days to find that he had broken into my house and was just waiting for me to get home so we could play cards and talk.
Noah was there the night after my son died. He was there the day my daughter was born. He was there when I walked down the aisle, and in a different sort of way, he was there when I backed apprehensively away from my marriage.
Noah was a constant presence. Even when he was out of sight, he was always there. Today is the first day since I was an awkward, shy eighth grade girl that I have woken up to a world without Noah. I'm not sure that I'll ever become accustomed to it. I cannot understand why the rest of the world isn't reacting somehow to the hole he left behind.
In the end, he was angry with me. Angry because I called him out and angry because I wasn't as strong as he wanted me to be. He wanted me to be perfect, to prove to him that it could be done. I failed him and even though I know that there was nothing else I could do, I have had as difficult a time forgiving myself as he has had. The day before he left us, though, we talked like it had never happened. Because in many ways, it hadn't. At the end of the day, there was nothing left to say. We were who we always were.
In the end, the only thing left to be angry about is that he left us.
Friday, April 12, 2013
5 Things on Friday: Disney Edition
After spending three days of wonder and joy, there were a few things that I thought you should know. Things that in all my research, I did not find, or my experience conflicted with what I found. I hope that this is helpful to someone:
5 Things You Should Know About Disney World
1. Everyone will call your daughter "Princess." This will make her feel amazing. - Point the first, when I say everyone, I mean everyone. Lifeguards will say, "Princess, you can't wear your goggles on the slide." Characters will curtsy and say, "Nice to meet you, Princess." People in shops will say, "Is that all for you today, Princess." This rocks. Let your kids interact with cast members, because they flippin' glow every time someone says it. Point the second, as I only have girls, I have no idea if there is a similar thing for boys. I was halfway listening, but never caught it.
2. The meal plan - totally and completely the best thing ever. - There was a lot of debate online on whether or not the meal plan was a good value. Many people said that it didn't save you all that much, and it was sort of a pain. I got the cheapest one, the Quick Service Plan so that I could carry less cash. And we ate like Princesses. In the first place, food in the Kingdom is not cheap, so prepaying helps even if you didn't save money. Secondly, when you spend a "meal" on your plan, you are entitled to a menu meal, a drink and a dessert. Kids meals come (usually) with the main item, fruit and carrots. Read the fine print, though, you can sub like there's no tomorrow. We usually kept the fruit and traded the carrots for a cookie. Because we were in Disney. Shut up Judgey Pants. The snacks were usable at all the kiosks and ice cream vendors. Which, let's face it, is what your kids want mid-day, anyway. Meal plan: rocks.
3. You're not gonna finish. - When I went to WDW, back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, three days was more than enough time to do everything you wanted to do. Now, not so much. Heck, I think two weeks would still leave you wanting. I didn't figure that out until partway through the trip. Make a list before you go of the "must do's" then make a list while you are there of the "gonna do next time's." Don't stress it too much and be flexible. For instance, I didn't get to ride Space Mountain. That is pretty much a sin in my book, but when nature calls and you've got a four year old, you've just gotta get out of line. (Speaking of lines, never really figured out how to work the Fast Pass process. That's one my "next time's.") I'm going back, though, so I'm not going to stress. It'll be there next time.
4. Live on campus. - When we were planning, we went back and forth on this issue a lot. We could have stayed out of the park for cheaper, but driving and parking would have cost us and we would have lost a lot of flexibility. We finally decided to stay (at the wonderful Port Orleans: Riverside Resort) and I am so glad we did. First of all, the benefits of the meal plan and the transportation were a big help. Secondly, being able to quit at two, go take a nap and come back for night time magic was amazing. There is truly nothing worse than whining at the Happiest Place on Earth. Nipping that in the bud was a must for us and not paying twice to park was a must for me. It also meant that our group could break into segments and come and go as we wished. Not everyone has to go everywhere. That's worth a lot, too.
5. Use your extra-magic hours. - The best time we had was on the first morning when we went to the park early. We rode about seven rides in the first hour and we weren't rushing. There were just no lines. When I first read about EMH and then I read how many rooms were available on the park, I figured that it wouldn't make that big of a difference. I just don't think most people want to get up that early on vacation. Maren's getting up at the crack of dawn no matter what, we might as well spend part of that time on It's a Small World, ya know.
Okay, Disney vets: Anything you think I missed. Maybe I just don't know about it. Enlighten me. Especially if you can explain how to use the Fast Pass system without letting it dictate your entire day.
5 Things You Should Know About Disney World
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| Even Princesses will call your kid a princess. Pretty amazing. |
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| The only thing that would have made this better would have been ice cream. |
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| But you better ride the teacups until you can't walk. We did. |
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| And everyone gets ears. |
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| See how my kids are the only people in this picture. 7:30 a.m. FTW!! |
Okay, Disney vets: Anything you think I missed. Maybe I just don't know about it. Enlighten me. Especially if you can explain how to use the Fast Pass system without letting it dictate your entire day.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Just a Warning
Last week, when I was missing, (Don't pretend you didn't notice. I know you were all pining away after me.) I was somewhere that wasn't here. Where, you may ask, full of trepidation and wanderlust... Well, here's a clue:
That's right, I was in Disney World... The House of the Mouse... The Happiest Place on Earth... Where Magic Reigns Supreme... Land of a Thousand Smiles... am I just making up names now? Yes. Okay.
The girls, my mom, my sister-in-law-in-training and I went down for three days and four nights of unfettered joy and glee. I'll be gushing all week. I'll try to keep it down.
In the meantime, because I am still trying to recover my senses... Because I'm still trying to wrap my head around the concept of getting up and going to work... Because my daughter was up between midnight and three a.m. throwing up all over me... Because I seem to have developed an inexplicable addiction to ellipses... You get a list.
- Maren's favorite thing was the pool. We could have gone to the pool without leaving the state. Kids. And their boxes. Bah.
- Both of my kids like roller coasters. This is a major thing for me, a woman who has spent a good portion of her life surrounded by roller coaster wusses.
- Explain the concept of Hidden Mickey's to a kid and they will respond by pointed out every cluster of three they see, regardless of shape, size of similarity to Mickey's famous silhouette.
- 15 hour drive.
Tomorrow there will be more pictures. I promise. I may have broken the brain in my phone. I forgot my cord and tried to email about 20 pics to myself. That's dangerous, right there.
Anyway, welcome home to me. Sick babies, early mornings, messy house (or it was) and now it's time to get serious about dieting. Bah humbug. I wanna go back to Disney.
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